Being curious about each other helps a lot in maintaining a long term relationship

You will never be in a successful relationship with someone who is just like you. This is partially because no one out there is just like you and partially because even being in a relationship with someone who is too much like you can cause problems. Fundamental differences in personality, likes, interests, etc. are important and help keep relationships going by creating balance and by allowing each person to be truly interested in and curious about the other.

Every successful couple has had to learn how to navigate fundamental differences in their relationship. Here’s how you can overcome some common foundational differences in your relationship:

Draw the Lines First

One of the most important things you can do in a relationship is to decide before you even get into a relationship what types of differences are unacceptable to you. Maybe you absolutely couldn’t be in a long-term relationship with someone who doesn’t share your religion, or maybe you know that you want children someday and could never be with someone who didn’t want a family. It’s important to know your limits so that you don’t risk getting entangled in a relationship that ended up presenting you with insurmountable differences between yourself and your partner.

The key here is to only draw the lines at things that are very important to you. Otherwise you’ll end up drawing too many lines and becoming too picky to find a partner. You may be surprised at what types of differences can be overcome – and even celebrated – in the context of a healthy relationship!

Intimate Details

Everyone knows that one of the biggest fights in relationships can stem from intimacy – where, when, how often. These details can become a big bone of contention in relationships, but they need not be. One recent study published in through Indiana University found that having sex more frequently, having higher sexual function, and frequently kissing and cuddling led to more sexual and relationship satisfaction for men and women in long-term relationships.

Communication and emotional intimacy can help overcome differences in sexual drive and preferences. Never push your partner into something he or she is uncomfortable with, but be willing to take risks in the bedroom. Also, make sure you are constantly striving to be closer emotionally, since sexual intimacy will follow more easily when you are close emotionally.

Financial Decisions

Whether one person makes significantly more than the other or you disagree on how much and when to spend, financial differences can be a huge issue in relationships. The Pew Research Center says that about 22% of American wives earn more than their husbands, which can be a particular problem in a culture that is still used to the family model of a male breadwinner.

Whether you’re struggling to decide who pays with their cash back credit cards or fighting over how much to spend on dining out each month, communication is the key. Here are a few tips to help you deal with differences in opinion on finances:

• Watch the debt. Going into extensive credit card debt is never a good idea, and it can just place more strain on this area of your relationship. If you’re married, make all decisions regarding taking on debt together. If you aren’t married but are splitting expenses, you may still want to consider talking over major credit card charges with your partner, especially if you see yourselves combining finances, and, thus, your debt, in the future.
• Make a budget together. Whether this means making a mutual budget out of your single checking account or making a budget where you each pay into basic living expenses by percentage according to your incomes, figure out what works for you. Update your budget frequently, and stick to it together.
• Have some outside funds. A separate checking account or even a monthly cash allowance for couples who are operating off of shared finances can help give each person a little freedom financially. Whether she wants a new pair of shoes or he wants a few nights out with the guys, not having to discuss every little purchase can be a huge boon for a relationship.

Family Obligations

Differences in social obligations – especially to family – are common with couples who live close to their families of origin. Remember that if you’re married or in a serious relationship, your primary emotional fulfillment should come from your partner or spouse, but you should still expect to see both your own family and your partner’s family.

Often times, women have a closer relationship with their families than men do, though this isn’t always true. Either way, one of you is likely to want to be with your family more than your partner is comfortable with. One of the best ways to deal with this is to not feel that you must always go together to family functions or visits just because you’re a couple. It’s okay for each partner to visit his or her family alone, too. Also, make each partner responsible for communicating with and keeping the social calendar for his or her side of the family.

Know More About Relationship Management

Daniela Baker helps consumers apply for a credit card at CreditDonkey.com.  Remember, overcoming fundamental differences in personal finance or relationships is an essential skill if you want to have a healthy relationship. Once you’ve entered into a relationship with someone, communication and understanding are key to dealing with differences in your sex life, your financial life, and your family life.

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